“Does it Dry Up, Like a Raisin in the Sun?”

Charlie Davies, Twitter, Belief, and a Dream Deferred

We should have seen this coming. All the signs pointed to Charlie being left off yesterday’s preliminary World Cup roster. The doctors and coaches at his club, FC Sochaux, were expressing doubt and hesitation. The Club president said he wasn’t yet ready to play. The French media also wrote that Charlie wasn’t ready. But we believed. They didn’t know what they were talking about. Charlie’s “tweets” said he was back.

United States National Team doctor Ivan Pierra met with Davies in France last week, and the results of their meeting were kept relatively quiet, rather than publicized. Head Coach Bob Bradley recently tried to temper expectations and issued caution regarding Davies recovery. All the signs were pointing towards the sad news. And yet, like Charlie, we still believed. The only source steadfastly proclaiming that Charlie would be ready was Davies himself, on twitter and in numerous interviews.

We had to believe. As fans, it’s what we do. With his numerous encouraging and inspiring tweets, and rumors of amazing progress, we started to convince ourselves that it was going to happen. He was going to do the impossible. He was unbreakable. He was going to make it back to the World Cup. Only 7 months ago we weren’t even sure he was alive. A few months before that, most of us weren’t even sure who he was.



It seemed like Charlie Davies came out of nowhere. Few soccer fans knew much about him when he was selected to the Confederations Cup roster last summer. But of course, he didn’t come from “nowhere”. Charlie was a star forward for Boston College for 3 years, before leaving early to take advantage of his soaring professional prospects. Rather than taking the MLS route (Charlie was offered a generation Adidas contract, and was expected to be a high draft pick) he signed with the Swedish Club Hammarby IF in late 2006. He had a quiet start in his first year for the club, but eventually worked hard enough to make himself a starter, and the goals began to come. He got a couple of USA caps during World Cup qualifying, even scoring a goal in the summer of 2008, but never made a major impact and didn’t leave a huge impression on me, personally. He had potential though- and looked like one for the future. Then he got off to a flying start in the 2009 Swedish Season, scoring goals left and right for Hammarby. National team coach Bob Bradley named him to the Confederations Cup squad in May of 2009- about one year ago.

The Confederations Cup was Charlie’s coming out party. After a tough loss to Italy in the first game, and a spanking by Brazil in the second, the Americans were on the ropes. They needed a miracle to advance to the next round. They’d have to beat Egypt (the African champions) by a wide margin, and they’d still need help from Brazil in their match as well. Facing the pressure, Coach Bradley shuffled his lineup and gave Charlie Davies, a week shy of his 23rd birthday, the start at forward. It was Charlie’s first time paired with rising star Jozy Altidore for significant minutes. Charlie had been used a substitute in the first two games, but it quickly became clear he wouldn’t be going back to the bench any time soon. He and Jozy complimented each other perfectly, and Charlie rose to the ground occasion. He opened the scoring in the 22nd minute, knocking the ball off the scrambling keeper and into the net. The Americans never looked back, winning the game 3-0 and advancing to the next round.





Charlie started again in the Americans historic 2-0 upset of Spain in the semi-final, and again in the final against Brazil. The US lost the final in heartbreaking fashion, 3-2, but Charlie was a bright spot throughout the tournament's final stages. He had played exceedingly well, and seemed born to combine with Jozy. Most American fans were penciling him into their predicted World Cup starting lineups.





Charlie’s good run of form didn’t stop there. He scored again for the Americans a little over a month later, on August 12th, and it was another hugely important goal. He scored the opening goal in the American’s qualifier in Mexico. With his quick run and cool finish, Charlie became only the 4th American to score in the “Hell on Earth” that is Azteca Stadium. Running to the corner flag, Charlie did his signature “stanky leg” celebration, and was pelted with beer, batteries, and God knows what else from the shocked Mexican fans. The Americans had their first ever lead in the Azteca. Though they would go on to lose 2-1, Charlie’s hot form continued. He left Hammarby and transferred to a bigger club- FC Sochaux in the French league. Still, the goals kept coming. He came off the bench and put two more in the net against the French Champions, Bordeaux, in only his second appearance- days after the Mexico game. He was on top of the World, and the fans couldn’t have been any more excited. Nothing could stop Charlie now, we thought…

The Accident

"The car was pretty much split in half," Schlosser said. The southbound lanes of the parkway, a major commuter artery, were closed until 8:15 a.m., with significant backups reported.

I’ll remember that Tuesday morning forever. October 13th, 2009. It will be exactly seven months ago tomorrow. I didn’t have class until the afternoon, but I still woke up early, I don’t know why. It was a dark and rainy morning, fitting for the news that we were about to get. The United States had just clinched a World Cup spot days before, and the fans and players were on cloud nine. I had finished breakfast, and was on my computer, drinking coffee, going through my morning routine of websites- I checked some emails, checked Facebook, ESPN, Sports Illustrated, and Big Soccer. But it was twitter, where the news was first broken to me. Just as I got there, someone had re-tweeted a link only seconds ago.


Davies in Serious Accident


Along with that horrible headline was a link to a story from a local DC news website. Surely this was some sort of mistake or typo. Another “Davies”, maybe. But no, it clearly said “U.S. forward Charlie Davies”. I clicked the link. I read closer. The words “fatal” and “career-threatening” stood out like they were in red ink. I felt numb. Suddenly, thanks to the nature of twitter, it exploded. Rumors spread widely. “Charlie is dead?” “RIP Charlie Davies” “Did you see the car- it was split in half! Nobody could survive an accident like that” “He was driving- and he was drunk” “He was out way past curfew” “Jozy is hurt too!” and more.






Fellow USMNT players began to tweet their support. I was still pretty shocked, and in disbelief. There must have been some sort of mistake. It couldn’t have been Charlie. I still didn’t quite believe it. And then a tweet from Jozy, his strike partner, and closest friend on the team.

JozyAltidore17 11:13AM Oct 13th, 2009 via UberTwitter: “ :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

I'm not tweeting anymore yall just not feeling well. Bye for now”

It was suddenly all too real; it was confirmed. I felt sick. I suffered through a horrible, nerve-wracking, grief-stricken afternoon. I missed my first class, because I was so busy trying to figure out the details of what had happened. I tried to go to my second class of the day, but it was no good. It just didn’t seem to matter. It was surreal listening to my teacher lecture on the Stamp Act, with all that had happened that morning. I left halfway through and went back home. It was probably unhealthy to spend so much of the day following rumors, looking for articles, and grieving with fellow fans online and via text, but doing anything else felt wrong. I was close to breaking down in tears several times that day.

The following day was almost as emotional. Everything was finally settling down, and we knew as many details as we ever would. Charlie had not been the driver. He was going to live- his injuries were “career threatening”, but not life threatening. One of the passengers, an acquaintance of Charlie’s, Ashley Roberta, was not so lucky. Ashley was not a soccer star, and as such, many seemed to be forgetting about her in their stories and grief. I couldn’t. It didn’t seem right to be happy about Davies survival when someone else had died. Ms. Roberta wasn’t famous like Charlie, but had many family members, friends, and loved ones that cared about her as much and more than we cared about Charlie, and their lives would never be the same. Neither would Charlie’s.

Davies was airlifted to the hospital in critical condition. He had suffered a litany of injuries, including a broken right femur and tibia, a broken left elbow, facial fractures and a lacerated bladder. Doctors were already making prognoses, saying he would be in the hospital for weeks, and putting a potential rehab target at 6-12 months. The badly fractured tibia and femur were devastating injures. The World Cup was certainly out of the question for Charlie. It hurt, but at the time, that didn’t really seem to mater. He was lucky to be alive.

Amongst everything going on, the United States still had one more qualifying game to play- that night- the day after Charlie’s accident. On the surface, it didn’t really matter. We’d already clinched the World Cup spot, and there was no chance of being a top-seeded team. The difference between first and second place in CONCACAF would decide nothing more than pride. But for the American fans and players, there was something very important to play for. Charlie.

Charlie was extremely popular with the other players. He was young, confident, and quick humored. He seemed to get along with everyone. He was also very popular with the fans. He was a young player, and a striker, the sexiest position in soccer. He was plying his trade in Europe, and seemed to be on the fastrack to superstardom. His enthusiastic embrace of twitter endeared him even more to American supporters.

CharlieDavies9 3:20PM Oct 9th, 2009 via web: “Bout to go to Training. Love training the day before a game. That weird stomach feeling starts to set in. Gotta love it. That's why I play”

He used this new medium to show us a behind the scenes look at life with the national team. He showed us how close he was to his teammates (especially Jozy), constantly bantering and joking with them. He challenged us, the fans, to play him in FIFA online, he responded to fans often, and answered our questions. He made us laugh, and most importantly, he made us feel like we were part of the team- something every fan wants.

CharlieDavies9 9:43PM Oct 9th, 2009 via web: “GOOD NIGHT!!! Getting rest for the big game tomorrow. WE QUALIFYING FOR THE WORLD CUP TOMORROW NIGHT! MAKE SURE TO WATCH IT AT A BAR”

Sometimes supporting the United States National Team (especially during non-World Cup years) makes one feel like they’re part of an unusually large family. A camaraderie exists among the players and supporters because we all deal with the consequences of building our lives around a sport that most Americans neither understand nor care about. And with Charlie’s use of twitter, his private life and thoughts were broadcast to all of us. It felt like we personally knew him, he felt like a friend; he felt like family. I know I wasn’t the only fan who felt like a member of my family was involved in that horrible accident on October 13th.



The Game
October 14th, 2009, RFK Stadium, Washington DC.


The players were still reeling from the shock of the accident, but they had a game to play. Wanting a result to dedicate to Davies, the Americans were facing a Costa Rica team that still had everything to play for. Only a win would be enough for the “Ticos” to make the World Cup, and they were desperate to get it.

The spirit of the fans and players that evening was spectacular. Jozy in particular, played like a man possessed, wanting so badly to score a goal for his friend. He wore an undershirt with “Davies 9” emblazoned across his heart that was just visible through his jersey. In the 9th minute, thanks to some brilliant organization by supporters groups, a huge contingent of the stadium held up “9” posters in a salute to Charlie.






Everything about the night was amazing and very emotional, except Costa Rica wasn’t cooperating. They scored two early goals, to put the host Americans in a hole at halftime. Jozy became increasingly frustrated, wanting nothing more than to tear off his jersey and reveal his tribute. In the 72nd minute, Michael Bradley pulled one back, bringing the US within a goal of a brave draw. The fans did everything they could to spurn the team on, but it just wasn’t happening. Finally, in the 5th minute of stoppage time, the Americans earned one last corner. It was surely the last chance of the game. The last chance to salvage a result for Charlie. As Robbie Rogers got set to take the kick, the fans were absolutely roaring.





I’ve watched the video dozens of times, and laugh at the suggestion that it was a “meaningless’ goal. Sure, the goal technically didn’t help the Americans qualify for the World Cup, and the result didn’t really mean anything, but judging by the players’ reactions, it certainly meant something. It was heartbreak for the Costa Ricans, who now faced a tough playoff to make the World Cup, but it was pure joy for the Americans, who were playing for something much more important than a World Cup berth. They were playing for Charlie.

(Jozy celebrating the late equalizing goal)

The Rehab

The next few months were pretty quiet. Things seemed to go back to normal soccerwise. With the US not playing in any games, Charlie Davies faded into the back of our minds, temporarily. He was released from the hospital on November 10th, nearly a month after the accident. We got out first glimpse of Charlie in a short ESPN interview just after Thanksgiving. He wasn’t the same Charlie we remembered; no longer joking or quick with a smile. This ‘new’ Charlie was quiet, and very introspective. He even looked different- the accident had changed him. And yet, he was confident from the beginning. In the interview, he determinedly proclaimed he would be back, back for the World Cup. And so the journey began. But surely it wasn’t realistic, right? The media was skeptical. Most had already ruled him out. He just didn’t have enough time. But we believed. We had to believe him.

Charlie made his first tweet since the accident on December 3rd, almost two months after that fateful Tuesday morning. It was short, and didn’t reveal too much, but was full of hope. We were glad he was back.

CharlieDavies9 4:25PM Dec 3rd, 2009 via web: “I would like to thank everyone for all their prayers and best wishes. I'm on the road to recovery!”

He tweeted sparingly over the next couple of months, as he underwent more surgeries and intensive rehab. Everything was very quiet. We didn’t know how he was doing. It was hard to separate the rumors from the real facts. “Charlie visited national team camp today… and he was walking”, “Charlie was running on a treadmill”, “He’s back in France”, “His last surgery didn’t go according to plan”, “He’ll be back soon!”, “He has no chance of making it back for the World Cup”. We didn’t know exactly who or what to believe, but we believed.

CharlieDavies9 6:20AM Feb 2nd 2010 via Echofon: “Heading into surgery for my elbow. Really tired since it's 6am. Can't wait to be able to bend my arm again! Here we go”

February was a good month. We started to get facts. Ives Galarcep wrote an extensive profile of Charlie’s “remarkable” recovery on February 2nd. Charlie returned to his club in France, after finishing his rehab in America. He appeared in numerous interviews and press conferences, looking and sounding more like the “old” Charlie. He talked about his goals, especially those for the World Cup. It was clear very early on that the World Cup was the major goal. It seemed to be what was inspiring the long hours of work and pain for Charlie. It was his motivation.

CharlieDavies9 4:02 AM Feb 17th via web: “Your Boy is back in Europe, Finally!! Thanks for all your words of encouragement and support! Still a little ways to go but HERE WE GO....”

March and early April continued in the same vein. Something special was unmistakably happening here. Everything was ahead of schedule. Charlie finished his rehab at specialty program in Southern France, and was back with his club by late March. He started tweeting more and more. We got to know more about him. We saw how much he valued every day. We learned how important his girlfriend was to his life. He often tweeted pictures of meals she cooked for him. We heard how many miles he was running and how hard he was working. We could see how much he wanted it, and how far he had come.

(Charlie tweeted this photo in mid-April, he has the fan made poster on the wall of his apartment)

On April 22nd, the President of Sochaux announced that Charlie wasn’t progressing quite as much as rumored, and ruled him out for any of their games the remainder of that season. It was definitely a blow, but few made much of it. We’d learned not to doubt Charlie Davies. He'd proven people wrong too many times. We wrote off the Sochaux president as just another doubter, more motivation. Apparently Charlie did as well- tweeting that he was doing just fine, and would work harder than ever. That evening, especially moved by Charlie's recovery, and wanting to prove something to the doubters, I sharpied “CD9” onto my wrist, and dedicated my intramural soccer game to Charlie, even getting on the scoresheet in the process. Even if nobody else believed in him, we fans were always by his side.

Finally on April 26th, all our faith seemed to pay off. Charlie announced that he had resumed full training with Sochaux. He was back. We didn’t just believe, we knew.

CharlieDavies9 5:09AM Apr 28th via web: “What a day!!!!! Scored that goal I been waiting for! My first goal in training!!! It's been 6 months, man I miss that feeling. Here we go!!”

Charlie was quickly becoming a hero for American Soccer fans. Many ordered a “Davies” and “9” on the back of their new World Cup jerseys. It was an easy choice. Charlie was special. Nobody gave him a chance; he should have died. And look where he was now. His hard work, constant confidence and never-ending drive were nothing sort of inspirational. And we had believed all along. We believed, against all odds, against the advice of all the experts who had doubted. We believed in Charlie, we believed in miracles. And as he recovered more and more, we didn’t just believe, we dreamed. I would often stay up into the early hours of the morning, playing FIFA World Cup on my Playstation, making extra sure to score goals with Charlie. We made emotional Youtube videos about his comeback. We debated whether we’d cry or not when he first returned to the pitch, or when he scored his first goal in the World Cup.

While we were starting to look ahead, it went somewhat unnoticed that there was very little official word about Charlie in the build up to the roster release. Most people assumed he would be on the roster, though it wasn’t a given. There were a few voices of concern- some on Sochaux’s staff of coaches and doctors gently expressed their belief that Charlie still wasn’t quite ready. Even though he was indeed in full training, he still wasn’t close to 100%, they intimated. Bob Bradley didn’t directly answer the questions in interviews, choosing general and non-committal responses instead. His evasive answers should have concerned us. But we’d believed in Charlie all along, why would we stop now, when the dream was so close to coming to fruition?



The Death of a Dream


And then, Monday of this week, the night before the roster would be released, everything changed with a harmless looking tweet from Jozy Altidore.

JozyAltidore17 8:51PM May 10th via UberTwitter: “ :( ”

It was simple, yet terrifying. I was immediately concerned. That sadface looked familiar, but I wasn’t quite sure where I’d seen it before. I was worried, but the answer didn’t occur to me at once. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew exactly what Jozy was referring to, and wouldn’t allow anyone to convince me otherwise- though some on online soccer forums tried. I wanted to believe it was something insignificant, something related to Hull- Jozy’s club team. Maybe he’d just lost his car keys… But deep down, I knew… It was too obvious. With the closeness between Jozy and Charlie, and Jozy’s refusal to respond to any of the dozens of tweets begging for an explanation, it seemed too clear. I knew what had happened. The players had been informed of the roster, the night before the rest of us would find out, and Jozy couldn’t hide his heartbreak.

The US preliminary roster was released via a special presentation on ESPN, at 11:00AM, Tuesday May 11th. Each position was announced separately. The goalies were first, with no real surprise. But everyone was waiting for the forwards. When it finally came time for the forwards to be unveiled, I felt a big lump in my throat. My heart was hammering. This was it. But while I was excited, I feared the worst. After believing all along, I had finally given up. I stopped believing when it mattered most; I gave up on Charlie, even though he never gave up on himself. But I just knew his name wouldn’t be called. I didn’t want to get my hopes up; I didn’t want my heart to be broken. The strikers were listed, and Charlie’s name was not on the list.

My heart was still broken. I had believed, in spite myself. I tried to tell myself he wouldn’t make it, but deep down, I still believed. But now the roster was right in front of me, and Charlie wasn’t on it. The dream was finally over. The dream- Charlie’s dream, our dream, had died.

It was another surreal Tuesday morning, nearly seven months to the day later. Very quickly, American fans began to debate the absence of Charlie. Emotions were flaring. Everyone wanted someone to blame. We were all hurting; surely there was someone against whom we could direct our pain. Head Coach Bob Bradley was turned on first. He had been largely unpopular throughout his tenure, with many fans disliking his preferred playing style, his penchant for sweatpants, his player selection, and most disturbingly, his American-ness. He was an easy whipping boy. After all, he was the one that picked the roster. Others thought a bit deeper, and blamed Sochaux, Charlie’s club for not medically clearing him. People were angry, and venting. It was crazy and irrational to try to find blame, yet at the same time totally understandable. It’s not in our culture to accept a defeat like this. It was hard to believe that the dream had died so early, without an obvious reason; surely someone must have been at fault.

Of course, in reality, nobody was truly to blame. Sochaux was extremely supportive of Charlie throughout his entire rehab. They gave him every resource and every chance to get back to full fitness. They were with him the entire way. To assert, as many did that morning, that they were intentionally keeping him from the World Cup, to “protect their investment”, is ridiculous. It’s paranoid reasoning. People made it seem as if there was some grand conspiracy theory. Of course, like any good conspiracy, they had no real proof. The only source that had been telling us Charlie was fully healthy was Charlie himself. And we believed him, of course we did. We had to. We wanted to. He wasn’t lying, he just believed in himself. But Charlie isn’t a doctor. Nearly everyone else involved, from the beginning to the end, expressed skepticism. If Sochaux felt Charlie would be able to contribute to the World Cup team, and do so at 100%, or even at 80% without risk of re-injury or setback, they would have released him. They refused to fully clear him, and listed him as unable to play in the tournament.

Coach Bradley could have still overruled them and brought in Charlie anyways. It would have been ugly, and caused a riff between club and country, but it was fully in his rights as national team coach. Teams have to release their players for the World Cup. But Bradley had his own doctor meet with Charlie. He had his own observers at Sochaux’s training. He surely had a close dialogue with Sochaux’s staff. He made his own decision. His decision was helped and seconded by the decision of Sochaux’s medical staff and coaches. If Bradley felt Charlie was healthy enough to play without the risk of a setback, to contribute and to have a realistic shot of making the 23-man roster, he would have selected him. It’s as simple as that. To believe anything else is to believe in a conspiracy, even if it’s less likely, because the more likely scenario doesn’t feel right. It isn’t the ending we want.

We wanted a classic happy ending, like the ending of a sports movie. That’s what we are used to. Charlie was going to make the World Cup, come off the bench late in the first game, and score the winning goal against England. Because of Charlie’s tweets and the media’s ever hopeful (if unreliable) stories, we really believed that.

The reality is, Charlie just could not do it. And if he couldn’t have done it, nobody could have. He did everything in his power to make it back, and more. That’s why it’s so heart breaking that he fell short. But it was unrealistic from the beginning to expect him to make it back. He just didn’t have time. It was probably impossible to begin with. But we got caught up in the fairytale. We believed. We had to believe.

I wasn’t overly emotional or angry when the names were released. I was hurt, and I was heartbroken, but since Jozy’s tweet the previous night, I’d been somewhat resigned to the grim reality. As the TV personalities began to talk about the absence of Charlie, and the soccer forums delved further and further into an ugly blame game, everything slowly became a blur. I felt dizzy, and depressed. I didn’t want to hear it. It was too much. I needed some time to think, to reflect. I went back to twitter. First I saw a tweet from Jozy.

JozyAltidore17 2:13PM May 11th via UberTwitter: “@CharlieDavies9 Your a champion and a warrior no matter what anyone says and I'll always have your back kid. Keep that head up!”

I love Jozy, and this tweet reminded me of all the reasons why. It was amazing to see him expressing his love and respect for his friend, no, his brother, even before celebrating his own selection.

And then there were three tweets from Charlie in quick succession. I hadn’t expected to hear from him for a few days- I figured he’d stay away from twitter. I thought the heartbreak would be too much for him. He put everything he had for the last seven months into making the World Cup, against incredible odds, and fell just short at the end. It was an emotional day. Surely he’d be bitter. Surely he’d be angry. We could forgive him for that, after everything he’d been through. But his first tweet really surprised me. As I said, I was depressed when Charlie’s name wasn’t on the roster, but I didn’t cry. When I saw his tweets, an hour or so after the announcement, I could no longer hold in the tears.

CharlieDavies9 1hr ago via web: “Congrats to the guys who have made the WC Squad. I wish them nothing but the best! They have my full support!!! I'm rooting them on!!!!”


CharlieDavies9 1hr ago via web: “Thank you all for your continued support and words of encouragement. It was a very sad day for me as well but now focused for next season!”


CharlieDavies9 1hr ago via web: “I will be back stronger then ever! The hard work will not stop! Believe for the rest of 2010 and the future! Thanks again! God Bless”

It was the first tweet that really got to me. How he had the strength to congratulate his teammates and make a classy statement, rather than feel sorry for himself, complain or call out others, I’ll never know. He’s a stronger man than most of us, that’s for sure. But we already knew that. He’s a great person as well as a great athlete. He admitted he was sad in the second tweet, but didn’t blame anyone or express anger or disbelief. In the third tweet, we were reminded once more of what an inspiration Charlie truly is. Only hours after what was seemingly the death of his dream, he continues to work. He always believes in himself, and for that, I’ll always believe in him as well. He won’t let anything stop him from reaching his goals. I know he’ll be back. He wants it too much. Yes, he fell just short of the World Cup, the ultimate goal. But he’ll be back, and I believe him when he says he’ll be stronger than ever. He’s still very young, and he has a long career ahead of him. Yesterday was a heartbreaking day, but the future is still bright for Charlie Davies, and for the American soccer fans he he’s inspired. The dream didn’t die. It has just been deferred.

After reading Jozy and Charlie’s most recent tweets, it was my turn to post something on twitter. My tweet was short and simple, but that’s the beauty of twitter- its brevity. It took only four words to express all my emotions and feelings.

GabeDahl 12:23 PM May 11th via web “@charliedavies9 is my hero”